Forgiveness is usually something we think of as a kind, magnanimous act. An act of compassion towards someone who has wronged or angered us.
This is sometimes the case, but research has revealed great personal benefits to ourselves if we practice forgiveness. According to research, forgiveness is good for YOUR mind, body and spirit.
This is what Shauna Shapiro wrote in Rewire Your Mind: Discover the Science + Practice of Mindfulness (2020).
“Forgiveness is perhaps the most challenging of all the resources available to us–and the most transformational”.
Barriers to forgiveness
For most of us, forgiveness is on our easier said than done list. Three of the main reasons why we find it difficult to forgive are:-
- we don’t think the other person deserves our forgiveness
- the pain is still too raw
- forgiveness is a sign of weakness and approval of the behaviour
Seven reasons to forgive include to:-
1. Reduce feelings of anxiety, stress and hostility
2. Lower blood pressure
3. Have healthier relationships
4. Reduce feelings of depression
5. Strengthen your immune system
6. Improve your heart health
7. Increase your spiritual and psychological well-being
The how
Forgiveness is a choice we make. When starting out on the path of practising forgiveness it’s a good idea to start with small things, such as someone cutting you up in traffic. With things that are more deep-rooted or long-standing, you may need professional help. When you feel ready to give forgiveness a go, here are some ways to go about it:-
Journal – Journaling is a great stress management tool. Writing down your thoughts and feelings will help you to release feelings that are no longer serving you in a positive way.
Talking – It’s good to talk so talking to a good friend or a professional can help you to release your negative feelings and start the process of forgiveness.
Meditate – Quieting your mind through meditation can help you to see and focus on any good you have gleaned from the situation and this can help you with forgiveness.
Empathy – Although it may be difficult, trying to see the situation from the other person’s perspective may help you to forgive them. This is where you may need professional help.
So, the next time you have feelings of anger, revenge or hostility building up in you when you are thinking about a time that you believe you were wronged, think about the benefits to you if you make the choice to forgive. Think about the positive effects on your life, your health and your well-being. Choose to move away from feeling a victim of that past situation and refuse to let that other person or situation continue to affect your life negatively.
Forgiveness is not just about you forgiving others, your reasons to forgive could relate to past situations, or you may even need to forgive yourself for something you did or did not do.
So, who do you need to forgive to bring about a happier, healthier you?
Helping you to understand your feelings and emotions is something I help with during my Calm & Clarity Hours. You can find out more about them here
Calm & Clarity Hour.
If you need help and want to find out how working with me can help you, book a free no-obligation Discovery Call with me today.
About Sharon
Sharon l
ives with her partner Geoff in Warwickshire and they have two adult children. She worked for over 25 years in an office environment, gaining qualifications to degree level in finance, business and management. While there she witnessed and experienced many stressful situations and suffered stress-related illnesses.
Sharon was advised to make some changes to her lifestyle which included trying complementary therapies. After experiencing the benefits of complementary treatments, she decided to retrain and share her knowledge and experiences to help others recognise and manage their own physical and emotional stress and anxiety levels.
Sharon has been working as a complementary therapist for over 15 years now, and she loves helping people to feel uplifted, focused, positive and empowered about their lives.
