When you worry people will often say to you “don’t worry” or “stop worrying, it doesn’t help” or “worrying doesn’t change anything so just think about something else”.
All this is true, but these kind, loving and well-intentioned words aren’t very helpful, are they? And they can sometimes lead to you worrying even more!
Worrying affects us all from time to time. Over the past few months during the height of the coronavirus pandemic and lockdown across the world, many people have had reason to worry about their future and the future of their loved ones. But this worrying hasn’t changed the situation.
Where it comes from and its effect on us
Feelings of worry usually come from negative thinking or constantly thinking about situations (past, present or future) that you have no or very little control over. Worrying can cause you to lose focus and reduce your ability to think clearly. It can lead to chronic worrying, feelings of fear, anxiety and stress. Being worried is likely to have a negative effect on those around you too – we all know how it feels to be around a person who is a constant worrier!
Worrying can affect your sleep at night and sleep deprivation can cause you to be tense and on edge during the day. It’s not unusual for you to suffer from physical, mental or emotional illnesses as a result of worrying too much.
What to do
The first thing to do is to recognise that you are overthinking, and this is causing you to worry. If you don’t recognise it yourself others may point it out to you by kindly suggesting that you stop worrying.
Now that you know you’re worrying and you know it’s not good for you, it’s time to take action. If you’re a natural worrier stopping completely may not be possible but here are some ways you can stem the flow and take back control of your thoughts.
5 ways to take control of your worrying mind
1. Ask yourself some questions
Ask questions that help you to identify where the worry is coming from and use the answers to manage your worrying mind. Start with these: –
- What am I worried about?
- How is this worry affecting me mentally, emotionally and physically?
- What are the benefits of me worrying and staying worried?
- What action can I take right now to reduce my worry?
- What am I missing out on by worrying?
2. Stay focused on the present moment
Meditation and mindfulness are two great techniques to help you focus on the present moment. They will help you break away from your worrying thoughts. There will always be things that are out of your control and being able to focus and stay grounded in the present moment will help you to deal with those situations.
When you find yourself overthinking, switch your attention to your senses. Is there something pleasing you can see, smell, hear or touch? Set your timer and spend just 3 minutes focusing on this. You can read more about mindfulness here.
3. Talk to someone
Sharing your thoughts and feelings with a loved one, a good friend or a therapist will help you to release some of the negative thoughts or beliefs in your head that are causing you to worry. Talking will allow you to find solutions if there are any or come to a place of acceptance of the situation. Choose the person to talk to wisely, you don’t want someone who is also a worrier!
4. Create a worry journal
Journaling is a great way of releasing your thoughts and for a worrier, a worry journal is an excellent tool. This is a place to leave all your worries. One way to use it is to make the decision that you will write all your worries in this journal and that’s where they will stay! It’s a great way to release your worries in the middle of the night or if you have no-one you can talk to.
5. Focus your energy elsewhere
In the moment, do something physical or mental that will move your energy. Move your body by going for a walk, running, do some exercise. Move your mind by doing something crafty, baking, cooking, drawing etc. For body and mind, there are some simple yoga or tai chi moves that will help you to change your focus and relax mentally.
Getting clarity
If you’ve tried different ways to control your worrying mind and have had little success, talking to an impartial person will help you to untangle your thoughts. I help people just like you when they book in for one of my Calm and Clarity Hours.
Click this link to find out more about Calm and Clarity Hours
Or just get in touch for a free chat. It’s good to talk.
Take a look at my book, Self-care for Busy Women. It’s full of hints, tips, checklists and trackers and will show you how spending just a few minutes each day focusing on your mental, emotional and physical health can have a big influence on your mindset and well-being. You’ll also be able to create your own 28-day self-care plan that fits seamlessly into your busy lifestyle.
About Sharon
Sharon lives with her partner, Geoff, in Warwickshire and they have two adult children. She worked for over 25 years in an office environment, gaining qualifications to degree level in finance, business and management. While there Sharon witnessed and experienced many stressful situations and suffered illnesses which were stress-related.
Sharon was advised to make some changes to her lifestyle which included trying complementary therapies. After experiencing the benefits of complementary treatments, Sharon decided to retrain and share her knowledge and experiences to help others recognise and manage their own physical and emotional stress and anxiety levels.
She has been working as a complementary therapist for over 15 years now and loves helping people manage and reduce their stress levels to feel uplifted, focused, positive and empowered about their lives.
